Hookup culture is another word for casual sexual encounters that has, in recent years, spread from the West and gained vast popularity in other countries. And given that Nigeria is heavily influenced by Western tropes, particularly through the media, it is slowly knocking aside barricades of morality, presenting the carnal as something that is not that deep.
Okay, I realize that I sort of sound like a preacher there, but there is no denying that this new cultural trend has certain far-reaching effects, which is ironic for something that is supposed to be as casual as possible. Because one demographic appears to be implementing it the most, which is individuals of college age. And once they are already inundated and used to something like that at such a young and formative stage, well, it is no surprise that the rate of infidelity in marriages seems to be climbing higher every day.
But what is hookup culture? Where did this trend originate from? Is it one person that started it, and if so, should the person be hailed as a hero or flogged through the streets of Computer Village for starting what is turning out to be a pandemic? Let’s find out.
Hookup Culture – Definition
Hookup culture is one that encourages and accepts casual sex encounters, which include one-night stands and other similar activities, without the burden of emotional intimacy or a committed relationship. As mentioned above, it is usually associated with Western late adolescent sexuality i.e. late teens to young adults.
The term hookup in itself has an ambiguous definition because it can mean any form of physical sexual activity between sexual partners, ranging from kissing to coitus itself. The term came into popular use in the 2000s, and can also be called nonrelationship sex, sex without dating or friends with benefits.
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History of hookup culture
The rise of hookups as a form of casual sex has been described as a cultural revolution that had its roots in the early 1920s, although certain historians put the beginnings of casual sex, including college hookups, as further back as the early 1800s. The phenomenon was shaped by cultural and historical forces, as there are documents of 19th-century white men having hookup sex with poor women, prostitutes, and other women that they had enslaved.
Hookups weren’t exclusive to straight people, however, as homosexual men were also known to engage in hookup sex in the 1800s, meeting in clandestine places like boarding houses and wharves.
The 1920s, however, brought about a transition from the age of courtship to an era that marked the beginning of the popularity of hookup culture. Technological advancements like automobiles and movie theaters allowed young people to escape their parents’ ever-watchful eyes, giving them more opportunities and the freedom to explore sexually.
The sexual revolution of the 1960s brought about a further loosening of sexual morals, which allowed sex to become uncoupled from relationships, and saw non-marital sex become more socially acceptable. Support for sexual freedom became more popular as new ideas and beliefs evolved about the positive and negative elements of engaging in sexual acts; for example, the premise that sex was not necessarily for reproduction alone, but had more emphasis on physical pleasure became more widely accepted.
This new trend was influenced by several factors, such as the eradication of the 1930s censorship laws regarding sexually explicit content in the media and accessibility to condoms, birth control pills, and other forms of contraception. Before the ’60s, unmarried women were usually denied access to these since sex was regarded as something that only took place after marriage.
Feminism also grew substantially during this period, arguing that a woman should have complete control over her own body and be able to “pursue” men the same way they do her. The number of women attending colleges during this time also tripled, and with this, women had to adjust to the sexual scripts outlined by men, which are based more on engaging in uncommitted sex instead of developing relationships.
As a result of this, dating reduced drastically as the frequency of hookups increased, and by the mid-90s, hookups were already an accepted form of interaction among sexually active adults. The reason for this was given to be because young adults were (and are still) maturing so fast that they are able to reproduce psychologically, but are not yet psychologically or socially ready to settle down and begin a family.
People engage in hookups for instant gratification for pleasure, sex, a feeling of being loved and paid attention to (however briefly), and the thought of the potential of the hook-up developing into something more, amongst other reasons.
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Hookup culture in Nigeria
Nigeria’s hookup culture is, as expected, run somewhat differently… yeah, you guessed right. Money is involved. The art of hooking up is a subtle way of asking to be paid for sex without being branded as a prostitute or a runs girl – the latter is a class of on-demand, tech-savvy girls just one step ahead prostitutes.
A.k.a. the money for hand, back for ground ministers, they don’t hang around lounges or frequent clubs. They don’t even live with a group of other runs girls, or attend entertainment industry and celebrity events. In fact, from a casual glance, you can never even tell that they are glorified sex workers. However, some of these ‘hook-up’ babes have not only monetized casual hookups, but have also turned sex and all its associated forms into business.
Don’t be fooled even if you see something like this. What is behind six is more than seven (Yoruba adage)We’ve all received those WhatsApp messages that go something like “hello, my name is Jasmine (or some other made-up name). Save my number for status views blah blah blah”. Na lie, wayray dey disguise. Hit her up with the right words, and I can bet you that within five minutes, you’re making a transfer for transport fare and sending your address for some casual sex.
I mean, sure, there are some people who engage in casual sex with each other without any transaction taking place, whether emotional or financial, but… well, that’s like a one in a million. Because even if it did start like that, pretty soon, one party is asking “what are we?”
Consequences of hookup culture
While most people choose to join the hookup culture as a means of experiencing sexual pleasure and physical intimacy, this type of behavior can also result in a variety of negative outcomes. These consequences can range from physiological to emotional injury, STDs, sexual violence and/or unwanted pregnancies.
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Engaging in hook-ups can also affect a person’s mental health negatively, with feelings of discomfort or anxiety. A study suggests that almost 35% of surveyed participants confessed to feeling disappointed or regretful after a hookup. Experts have also used qualitative analyses to determine the level and type of regret that a person might feel after having uncommitted sex, as many reported feeling embarrassed, having emotional issues, and an overall lack of respect from their peers.
A certain amount of pressure can also arise when it comes to hooking up, which can lead to performance anxiety, stress, and discomfort. Other studies have also shown that most people usually regret their hookups; in one survey, 77% regretted the experience, and in another, 72% of men and 78% of women who engaged in casual vaginal, oral, and/or anal sex regretted it afterward.
Intercourse that took place less than 24 hours after the first meeting and those that do only one time are the most likely to be regretted. Women are more likely to regret the experience because they feel used, while men might feel they have used another person.
Some researches also show that in hookup culture, regret is gendered, as women tend to regret the experience more than men. According to one study, at least four explanations for why women often regret hookups more than men. There may have been differences in perceived inequality in orgasms, or there may be different attitudes towards relationships, sex, and hooking up.
In addition, there might have been differences in sexual initiation and agency within hookups, or there may be a difference in the frequency of orgasms within the hookup itself.
The feeling of regret from hooking up may also be linked to negative emotional outcomes, especially in women. Psychologists reveal that the more partners that a woman has in the course of her life, the more likely she is to be depressed and report relatively low satisfaction with her life.
The American Psychological Association also states that engaging in hookup culture can result in guilt and negative feelings. Certain respondents to a survey reported that they were profoundly upset about hooking up because the experience made them feel, among other things, miserable, disgusted, and used.
To avoid becoming a victim, experts believe that the first step is to acknowledge the dangers inherent in the hookup culture. In one qualitative study, only 2% felt wanted or desirable after a hookup, and more than a third, on the other hand, felt disappointed. Others also reported feeling nervous or uncomfortable as well.
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