Ghosting is a relatively new term in relationships. It happens without any warning or explanation. One day, you’re in a relationship, the next day, you’re not. You can’t pinpoint what went wrong. Your partner has simply disappeared with no goodbyes, no texts, no words, no reply to DMs on social media. You’ve been ghosted.
A lot of people are in this situation. Their partners have vanished “into thin air” with no contact whatsoever. It is a terrible feeling to be ghosted, especially when you’ve thought you were in a loving relationship all along. This piece will explain the meaning of ghosting in a relationship, how to respond to ghosting and more.
What is ghosting in a relationship?
Ghosting means when your partner cuts off all communications without explanation. It means ending a relationship without closure. Someone can end a relationship for several reasons, but ghosting is an entirely different level. It happens in relationships, leaving the ghosted feeling hurt and heartbroken.
How to respond to ghosting
Here are ten ways to respond to ghosting.
Silence
If you’ve been ghosted, ghost them back. Lose their number and forget about them altogether. What’s the point of trying to contact them when they are not going to respond? If you’re feeling guilty about your silence, you shouldn’t be. They are the ones who left without explanation. Respond with the same energy. Let your ghoster feel what it’s like to be ghosted.
Send a last message or DM
If it makes you feel better, you can try sending a last text message or DM to your ghoster. Let them know you’re doing it for closure. However, if you’re sending the last message, let it be the last. So how do you send the last message? Keep it short, simple and honest. No rambling and no heavy texts. Just share your feelings. After that, you can block them to ensure you don’t contact them again.
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Accept the situation
Being ghosted is painful, especially if it was done by the one you love. It’s one thing to respond to ghosting with silence; it’s another to accept it the way it is. But to move on with your life, you need to first accept the situation. Tell yourself you’ve been ghosted, but it is not the end. It’s on them, not you.
We’ve seen all kinds of video rants on social media where people make angry posts about their exes. It is very tempting to vent your anger, and social media is one of the easiest channels. Don’t fall for it. Don’t dishonour yourself by exposing your anger to the entire world. In your mind, you’re just trying to unburden your heart. But to social media users, your rant is entertainment.
Talk to people you trust
Instead of ranting on social media, why don’t you confide in trusted families and friends? If you have a loving mom, talk to her about how you feel about being ghosted. It’s far better to talk to people you trust who know you personally than to expose yourself to strangers on social media or anywhere else.
Shift your focus
There is no need to think about your ex, who has ghosted you. Think about it, being ghosted can actually be for your benefit. You can shift your thinking and energy to other things that will make you grow into a better person. Prioritize yourself and re-evaluate what you want.
Have fun
Celebrate yourself. You might have dodged a bullet. Order some Chinese. Go shopping for your favourite wears. Dance yourself out at the club. Do anything that brings fun into your life. Don’t lock yourself in your darkroom feeling sorry for yourself. If you go out there to have fun, you’ll forget about your ghoster quickly.
If they call back, listen
Now in case, your ghoster calls you back, don’t rant. Just listen to what they have to say. When someone does something wrong and tries to make amends, you don’t push them away. You allow them to explain their behaviour. You’re not doing it for them; you’re doing it for you. Who knows? You guys can rekindle your relationship to be stronger and better. You can’t do that if you don’t give them a chance to apologize and explain. Even if you don’t get back together, at least you have your closure.
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Learn to let go
Letting go of the pain, heartbreak, and trauma becomes easier if you adopt this thinking. Think about how you’re better off without this unfeeling person in your life. You can meet a better person. Be grateful you were ghosted. It means you have another chance to meet other people.
Be open to dating again
Don’t give up on your love life because you were ghosted. Go out there and meet people. Enjoy your dates. Have fun. Work on yourself. When you put yourself out there, someday, you will meet your soul mate who will never ghost you for any reason.
How does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone?
Ghosters also feel the consequences of their actions. Here are some of what they feel.
- Guilt: They know what they did was wrong, and they feel guilty.
- Fear of confrontation: Ghosters generally avoid confrontation. That’s why they ghost even someone they love.
- Anxiety: They are worried about the consequences of their actions.
- Awkwardness: They don’t know how to act around you if you guys come across each other.
- Lost opportunity: They feel that maybe they have robbed themselves of the opportunity to grow and mature into a healthy relationship.
- Lonely: You may not believe it, but yeah, they feel lonely without you, especially if you guys have been together for a long time.
- Relief: Ghosters get rid of their problems by ghosting. They feel a sense of relief when they succeed.
How many days is ghosting
Relationships are different. However, if you don’t hear from your partner for more than three days, consider yourself ghosted. You can give them the benefit of the doubt for a week or two. But not more than that.
Signs of ghosting someone
Here are early signs you’re being ghosted:
- They take their time to return your calls and texts.
- They seem unbothered that they no longer communicate with you,
- Your ghoster is gradually ignoring you.
- They don’t want to hang out with you anymore.
- Your conversations are one-sided.
- They no longer acknowledge you on social media.
- They don’t include you in their plans.
- Your ghoster no longer shows you off in public.
- Your instinct is telling you you’re being ghosted.
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Ghosting psychology
Ghosting is an abrupt end of communication between people. Here are some psychological facts about ghosting:
Ghosting hurts
It affects someone’s sense of self-worth. Being rejected without explanation hurts beyond reason. It makes someone feel disrespected, disposable, and unimportant. The person is left to figure out how to sort out all the negative feelings about being ghosted.
People ghost for different reasons
It could be because they hate confrontations. They could be reacting to a previous traumatic experience such as mental or health issues. It could even be because they don’t feel safe around you. There are different reasons for ghosting someone apart from selfishness and wickedness.
People react differently to ghosting
Some people withdraw into their shells and refuse to let someone else into their lives. Others take out their anger on other people. No reaction is the same. It all depends on our nature.
There are different levels of ghosting
The first is the soft ghosting which could happen from a few minutes to three days. We call this beefing, which doesn’t last. Intermediate ghosting happens when you meet someone a handful of times and cut communication with the person with no warning. Heavy ghosting usually happens in a romantic and sexual relationship when one partner abruptly leaves the other with no explanation.
Ghosting increases your desire for someone
It can go both ways. The ghosted will feel more desire to be with the ghoster. The ghoster can feel lonely after learning “it rains everywhere” and desires to return to the person they ghosted.
Ghosting doesn’t happen in only romantic relationships
Your family and friends can ghost you, or you can ghost them. Your colleagues at work can ghost you or vice versa. Remember ghosting is not strictly limited to romantic relationships.
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