10 ways to know you are dating yourself

10 ways to know you are dating yourself

Is dating yourself the same thing as being single? Well, the answer is yes and no. For me, dating yourself is a more active version of being single. We are all social creatures. We’re wired to want to mingle and connect with other people. Sometimes, when looking for people to connect with on a more intimate level, you forget the most important person – yourself.

There is nothing wrong with dating yourself. Yeah, you want to avoid the boredom and loneliness of being single, but it’s not all that bad. By dating yourself, you discover new things that will help you when you eventually enter into a romantic relationship with someone else. That’s not all. Follow this discussion to discover more about dating yourself.

What is dating yourself?

Dating yourself is a self-care process of getting out and doing things you love to do alone. In dating yourself, you embrace the fact that you aren’t with anyone, that you’re your partner.

A lot of people often confuse dating yourself with something else. Many think dating yourself is being in a situation where you’re the only one making all the efforts to keep your relationship with your uncaring partner. But that’s situationship. Dating yourself is a deliberate act of being alone without actively searching for a partner.

10 ways to know you are dating yourself

1. You choose yourself above everybody else

You choose yourself above everybody else
Photo credit: Freepik

You always think about yourself first in every situation. You don’t want to compromise for any reason. You’ll be the last person to engage in anything where you don’t get to benefit. It’s you, yourself, and you. Nobody else. Some might say you’re selfish, but that’s not necessarily the case. You just like setting boundaries and protecting your space.

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2. You’re single but not searching

You're single but not searching
Photo credit: Depositphotos

Some people who are engaged or in serious relationships will say they are single but not searching. That’s not you. You’re single, as in you’re not in any relationship at all, but you’re not actively searching for one either. In fact, it’s the last thing on your mind in your present circumstances. You’re too busy enjoying your life that you don’t want to jinx it by including a partner. Then you’re dating yourself.

3. You’re independent

You're independent
Photo credit: Istockphotos

You may still be depending on your parents or guardians for financial assistance for some reason. But you already have an independent mindset. You believe in doing things your way without consulting anybody. If you’re already financially independent and living by yourself, it’s a huge plus. Nobody dey see your back again.

4. You take yourself out on dates often

You take yourself out on dates often
Photo credit: Getty Images

When couples plan date nights and Valentine’s Day, you’re thinking of scheduling time to enjoy a date yourself. You take yourself out to watch a movie, dance at the latest nightclub in town, enjoy a spa day, anything at all couples do, you’re doing it by yourself. It’s just you and nobody else.

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5. You pamper yourself a lot

You pamper yourself a lot
Photo credit: Istockphotos

There’s nothing sexier than self-indulgence. Because you’re dating yourself, you have more time and money. Hence, you get to great lengths to pamper yourself. This includes taking exotic vacations, enjoying a spa day, cooking a great meal or eating at an expensive restaurant, and doing extravagant shopping for yourself. There’s no reason to feel guilty because you have nothing to spend your money on but you.

6. You take your mental health seriously

You take your mental health seriously
Photo credit: Istockphotos

You don’t like stressing yourself. That includes going into relationship wahala. We know relationships come with different problems. Some are mild and normal, while others are terrible and sometimes fatal. You don’t want all that despite knowing that going into a relationship with someone can be beneficial. You’ll rather forgo the benefits and stick to yourself for your mental health.

7. You don’t care about being judged

You don't care about being judged

“See your younger brother’s age mate, Nkechi is now married with five kids,” is not your problem. “Albert your classmate is getting married tommorow and you’re still single,” is not for you. You may be getting pressure from both family and friends to find someone to marry. Some of them may be mocking you in a bid to make you get into a relationship. But you don’t care about the judginas and their judging. You’re happy being single, and you’ll only enter into a relationship when you’re ready (if ever).

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8. You find your own sexual pleasure

You find your own sexual pleasure
Photo credit: Freepik

Yes, I mean, you masturbate a lot. Masturbation comes with pros and cons. However, you don’t care about any of that. All you want is to find sexual release. If someone stumbles into your wardrobe, they’ll find all manner of dildos and sex toys of different shapes and sizes. For a guy, it’s usually porn magazines and CDs.

9. You’re too busy for relationships

You're too busy for relationships
Photo credit: Depositphotos

You never seem to find time to go on dates with other people. Honestly, you prefer your job or hobby to relationships. Even when you schedule a date with someone, you cancel at the last minute because something came up. That thing may not be urgent, but you use it as an excuse not to have to be around someone.

10. You don’t communicate with your partner

You don't communicate with your partner
Photo credit: Bigstock

Ok, let’s say you’re actually in a relationship; your communication is off. You’re always in your head and take decisions before your partner learns about it. Sometimes, you forget you’re even in a relationship. Everything you do is centered around you alone.  You’re dating yourself.


As you can see, dating yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. It may come off as being selfish, but it’s better to be single than to be in a relationship when you’re clearly not ready. Also, instead of lamenting about your singlehood and praying, “God when?” why not take your time to enjoy your relationship status? Get to know yourself better, as it will help you know how to make a future romantic relationship work. Believe you’ll accomplish more things when you’re single than with someone else.

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Nonye is a Thespian, screenwriter, creative writer and an unapologetic lover of books, great movies and sports. She has over 10 years experience in content writing on entertainment, movies, sports and lifestyle. Nonye is currently a content writer at Blackdot Media and founder of
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