Last week, a video of some unmarried ladies singing carry me dey go my husband house went viral on social media. They were praying to God to help them find a husband. Mixed reactions followed the video, particularly from the male folk. Some said they are desperate ladies who misspent their opportunities to marry. Others commended the girls for having the boldness to pray for a husband publicly.
Marriage is a sacred union in most cultures and religions. In Nigeria, an unmarried lady is regarded as incomplete. The notion may be faulty, but it has forced a lot of ladies to seek several ways to find a husband. If you’re such a lady, I want you to know that openly declaring your wish to find a husband is not a crime. There are several ways to find one that meets your expectations.
This piece will give you pointers on how to find a husband.
How to find a husband
Here are ten sure ways to find a husband:
Work on yourself
This is the first step you should take before the hunt to find a husband commences. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Work on your flaws. Of course, you’re not perfect; no one is. But if you learn to look attractive, be independent, fun, friendly, and homely, men will notice and begin to come for you. From there, you can choose the man you want and start a relationship that will take you to the altar.
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Know the qualities you want in a husband
You have to know what you want in a man. Do you want the God-fearing type or atheist? Must he be a rich man? Tall, dark, handsome, or do you just want a man who will accept you for who you are? Listing the qualities you want in the man of your dreams is essential so you will know where to look.
Be realistic in your standards
Every woman wants a stupendously rich, tall, dark, zero-flaws, God-fearing man ready to lay down his life for his woman. It’s okay to like that. Unfortunately, we’re in an imperfect world where men don’t have those qualities 100 percent. This is why you should be realistic in your preferences for a man. So, don’t keep a rigid list. Go for a man who will love and be devoted to you despite your flaws.
Go out there
Honey, you can’t find a husband when you spend all your days indoors and watching bad Nollywood movies. Go out there and have some fun. No one is asking you to advertise yourself naked in public. But there are many great public places to find a husband. For Christians, the church is very commonplace to find a husband. The same thing applies to Moslems. Going out alone or with friends to clubs, bars, and other relaxation centers will also increase your chances of finding a husband.
This will help you not settle for less. Having high esteem will make you look out for the best in your quest to find a husband. It will even help you make a first move on the man of your choice. Confidence is a trait that can be learned and developed. The more confident you are, the more men will be intrigued and approach you. Then you can make your pick.
Don’t be too picky about the men you want to go out with. Be diverse. Women are known to marry great husbands from unexpected places. Who knows, that might be your case. You may find a husband from a different tribe, culture, race, or random locations like buses and trains.
Be yourself and honest
You don’t want to find a husband who loves you for the fake life you live. Be sure to be yourself when you’re dating and making friends. Accept yourself for who you are. When you accept yourself, others will accept you. And when you find a man who likes you, he will enjoy the real you, not a fake act.
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Seek help from family and friends
A lot of married women met their husbands through their family and friends. You may want to ply that route in finding a husband. Make sure you confide in family and friends that you trust. And when they introduce you to someone, give that person a chance to get to know him more.
Don’t be desperate
Men can spot a desperate woman from a mile. Don’t allow societal and family pressures to push you into desperation. Not only will it ruin your chances of finding a husband, but it will also land you in the hands of predators disguising as husband materials. Be patient. Your husband will come at the right time.
Look out for his intentions
When you find a man interested in you, look out for his intentions where you’re concerned. Not all men who profess love to you are real. Some just want to collect and japa. Learn to weed out the bad ones hovering around you and create chances for the good ones.
Dating to find a husband
Now that you have found a man that you like, here are dating tips to make him your husband.
- Don’t play hard to get. No one is asking you to jump into his bed at first sight. But show you’re interested in him by making eye contact, smiling, and laughing at his jokes. Ask him questions about himself.
- Be independent. Let him know you have a life outside of his own. It will increase his fascination for you.
- Make him laugh. You may not be Helen Paul, but you can add a little humor to your traits. It helps.
- Be nice to his family, especially the female folks. They will encourage him to take you more seriously.
- Be nice to his friends as well. Don’t be an obstacle in their friendship; otherwise, they will spoil your relationship with their bad opinion of you.
- Don’t rush. Take your time to ask him to define the relationship (DTR). If he perceives that you’re trying to rush him to marry you, he will withdraw from you.
- Don’t expect too much from him. He’s a flawed human being like you. Accept and appreciate him for who he is.
- Engage with his interests. You must share the same views and interests about life.
- Don’t take him for granted.
- Consider his level of commitment. Does he want a relationship or situationship? Does he see you as friends with benefits? Find out if he is ready to walk to the altar with you.
How to find a rich husband
- Find out where they live. For instance, most rich men in Lagos State live in Lekki Phase 1, Banana Island, Ajah, etc. You can move or find a job there to increase your chances of meeting them.
- Be their spec. Most rich men either want rich independent women or beautiful “arm candies” or “trophy wives.” Work on yourself to be any of these specs. You may find a rich man who may want more than a casual hookup with you.
- Discover dating sites for rich men. Try dating sites like sugardaddymeet, millionairematch, eharmony, elitesingles, seekingarrangement, etc.
- Visit expensive malls, stores, and supermarkets. You will find them there.
- Be attractive and sexy. Look the part. As in, while looking sexy, look rich too.
- Talk like them. Be interesting to engage in a conversation with. Rich men often talk about finance and politics. Be well versed in these topics.
- Don’t look desperate for money. “My house has finished” in your first conversation with a rich man will put him off.
- Attend charity balls, silent auctions, golf tournaments, polo matches, shows, and anything that involves a cultural or medical institution. You may meet a rich man who will marry you.
How to find a husband after 40
Being single after 40 is not the end of the world. It’s not even too late to find a husband. Here are ten tips to help you:
Take care of yourself
Don’t look like a haggard witch because you’re 40. Look good, attractive, and sexy. Eat well and live a healthy lifestyle.
Don’t be shy to make the first move
You’re 40, so you’re past that age to be shy around men. Don’t be afraid to ask a man out. If he rejects you, swallow the disappointment and move on to the next person.
Try online dating sites
Be sure to post an honest profile of yourself. Look for dating sites that cater more to people looking to settle down, like eHarmony. Avoid casual hookup sites like Tinder.
Don’t judge before you meet him
You’ve been chatting with this gentleman on social media or dating sites, and he wants to meet. Suddenly, you’re rechecking his profile pictures to gauge your attraction to him. That’s not good. Allow him to meet you in person before you judge.
Engage in extracurricular activities
Involve yourself in social events, volunteering, and joining meet-up groups where people come together to do various activities. It will increase your chances of finding a husband.
Don’t lock yourself up in your house feeling sorry because you’re single at 40. Go out there. Meet people. Have fun. You will find your husband one day.
Be open to change
Don’t keep a rigid list. Also, if you live in a place where suitable men are scarce, consider moving to a more suitable environment. Don’t be afraid to make changes to improve your chances of finding a husband.
Keep an open mind
This means give men who don’t tick all the requirements in your list a chance. They may be way older, younger, shorter, or poorer than you. It doesn’t matter. Look out for a man who shares your core values and character traits.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You can talk to your family, friends, pastor, and relationship expert about your quest to find a husband.
Resolve your past relationship issues
Maybe you had a terrible experience in your past relationship. Don’t let it taint your chance of going into another one. Learn to forgive and let go of any grudges. Find closure and move on. You don’t want to enter into another relationship with baggage from the past.
In conclusion, don’t give up. Finding a husband is great, but it takes time and patience. In the meantime, learn to enjoy yourself. When that right man comes, you will grab him with all gratitude.
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