It is very hard to get over an ex you still love. This is someone whom you cannot imagine living your life without. And now, they are gone, leaving you empty, vulnerable, and unwanted. It’s a miserable feeling. But you can move on from it.
So if you’re wondering how to stop thinking about your ex and wishing you hadn’t broken up. If you’re wondering if you can move on with your life after the physical, mental, emotional, and possibly financial investment you made in your past relationship, then this article is for you. It’s not going to be easy, but you can do it. Trust me.
How to get over an ex you still love
I know it’s hard to stop obsessing over your ex, wondering how you’re going to live without them, imagining what they’re doing or if they’ve already moved on with someone else. Here are 10 helpful tips to help get over an ex you still love:
Cut off all communication
Yeah, it’s hard. But this is the first step to take to get over your ex, especially if you’re still in love with him or her. You’re not doing this to spite them; rather, it’s for the sake of your emotional and mental health. You should make yourself a priority, and one of the ways of prioritising yourself is to remove any form of distraction by your ex. Block them on social media. Be sure to unfriend people that connect you to your ex so you won’t accidentally stumble on new information about them.
You should also understand you cannot be friends with your ex. Maybe years later, when you’re in a healthier, happier place, you can, but for now, avoid anything that will make you contact him or her.
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Forgive
You may be hurting badly, but you have to learn to forgive yourself and your ex to move on. Learn to let go of whatever happened between you guys that led to your breakup. It doesn’t mean you should disregard your past. There’s no way you can forget about what you both shared. However, if you feel betrayed and don’t find a way to let go, you will spin into the vortex of hate and regret. But when you forgive, you’re not being weak but freeing yourself to make room for other wonderful things to come into your life.
Get rid of reminders of your ex
Cutting off communication is not enough. Getting rid of anything that will remind you of your ex is also important. It could be their pictures, clothes, toiletries, utensils, furniture, or anything you primarily associated with your ex. These reminders will only trigger unhealthy emotions and memories that will not help you move on. Get rid of them no matter how attached you are.
Don’t stage run-ins with your ex
It’s tempting but doesn’t ever stage running into your ex in the mall or anywhere else. It may trigger emotions you may not be able to handle. This is someone you still love. Their reactions to seeing you again or showing clear evidence that they have moved on without you may sink you into a place you may find difficult to come out from.
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Seek support from family and friends
We all need someone to lean on, especially in times of trouble. You’re one of your most vulnerable when you lose an ex you love. Seeking help from trusted family and friends is important for your wellbeing. If you’re living alone, perhaps it is time to go home to your family or have someone stay with you for a while.
Get professional help
Therapists are not so popular in Nigeria. People prefer to talk to their pastors or priests. If that will make you feel better, then it’s fine. But make sure you don’t hold it all in. It’s not healthy for you. Book an appointment with a professional and lay your heart out to begin your healing.
Take good care of yourself
Don’t mistake neglecting yourself because you broke up with an ex. Go out and have a nice spa treatment. Treat yourself to a great meal at a nice restaurant. Go shopping for your favourite wears. Take very good care of yourself. You broke up with an ex; it’s not the end of the world.
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Plan a vacation
Try planning a vacation. It’s good, especially after an intense breakup with your ex. At least the planning will take your mind off their memories for a while. It is not a must to travel to exotic places. It could be as simple as going to your village to enjoy your grandmother’s akpu and ofe nsala.
Direct your focus to other things
You can have a life outside your ex. Instead of wallowing in heartbreak and self-pity, take the time to redirect your focus to other important things in your life. If you don’t have a career, this is the time to start one. Are you a student? Focus on your studies. Create a list of what you want to accomplish and focus on accomplishing them.
Don’t be in a hurry to date again
It’s fine that you want to move on, but you don’t have to hurry into it. Focus your energy on healing from your breakup first to avoid taking residual feelings into a new relationship. You can hang out and have fun with new people. But put the romance part of it on hold. It’s for your good.
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How to get over your ex fast
- Don’t hope to get back together. If you still harbour that hope, it will be difficult to get over your ex fast.
- Give yourself time to grieve over your breakup. You will feel better in the end.
- Confide in trusted family and friends.
- Get rid of reminders of your ex.
- Avoid running into your ex.
- Don’t jump into new romantic relationships immediately.
- Disconnect from social media temporarily.
- Love yourself.
- Hoe phase
Healthy ways to get over an ex
Everything that has been stated above are healthy ways to get over an ex. In addition, it helps if you don’t continuously fantasize about your good times with your ex. Surely, they must have habits that you find particularly annoying. Focus on them. It may sour your mood again, but at least it gives you a soft landing in healing after a breakup.
Also, learn to accept your situation. There’s no need to fool yourself that you’re still in a relationship. Accept that phase of your life is gone and move on to better things ahead.
No one says dealing with a breakup is going to be easy. But with time, you will look back on that day and be grateful that you ended things with this person to give room for better things.
