Growing up, many of us got our sex education from external sources such as movies, school and vague conversations from adults around us. Our parents were probably too embarrassed to tell us about sex because they felt we were too young. Maybe they did talk about sex, but the subject was too diluted that it was difficult for our young minds to grasp what they were talking about.
As a result, many grow up believing certain misconceptions about sex. Fortunately, the world has since evolved and sex is no longer a taboo subject. There are some misconceptions about sex you need to know.
Top 15 misconceptions about sex
1. Everyone is having sex
False. Having sex is a personal choice and the fact that you want to do it does not mean that the next person does. If you are having crisis of conscience, maybe you should reconsider ruffling the sheets with a partner. But telling yourself that everyone is doing it as an excuse to do it will not make you feel better.
2. Having sex is a proof of love
Forget what you see in those movies. Sex is a purely physical feeling, meaning emotions are not usually attached to it. Sex can be an expression of love but it could be an expression of other things too such as addiction, peer pressure, financial and other types of favours. If sex was a proof of love, sex workers would not exist and there will not be children born out of wedlock anywhere.
In other words, if you are feeling pressured to have sex, know it is not from a place of love but fear, insecurity, greed and selfishness.
3. You cannot contact STIs or get pregnant if you use a condom
It is true that condom can prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if used correctly. However, condoms can fail if they break during sex. So if you are the type that likes it hot and rough, be careful so you will not break that condom. Otherwise, whatever you see in the aftermath, you have only yourself to blame.
4. Sex helps you lose weight
Sorry, having a ton of sex does not guarantee weight loss. Yes, sex is a great exercise but you have to do it continuously for hours to see any result. Studies show that thirty minutes of sex burns about 85 to 150 calories. In other words, you need about 35 sexual encounters to burn 3,500 calories.
Realistically, most people do not last up to 30 minutes during sex. So how will they lose weight when they usually last less than five minutes?
5. All women orgasm during sex
One of the best sexual highlights for men is when they hear their female partners screaming their heads off as they orgasm. Sorry to burst your bubble, but your madam may just be faking it. Research shows that about 75 per cent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Some women may need other forms of stimulation such as sex toys, hands or tongue to reach the “promised land.” Meanwhile, about 10 to 15 per cent never reach orgasm no matter how much their partners try.
6. You can tell if your partner has STI
Although symptoms of STI are visible, they do not often show up right away. Some do not show at all. This means it is risky to assume your sexual partner does not have STI if you do not run medical tests for confirmation.
7. Men desire sex more than women
This is a cultural lie that has been told to suppress women’s sexuality for centuries. There is a general assumption that male desire is straightforward and constant, while female desire is emotional and complicated, which is why you see the concept of the hunter and the hunted in the male and female relationships.
However, scientific research has dismissed the idea that male desire is generally higher than women’s. “What we’re seeing, study after study, is that in heterosexual partnered relationships, men and women are equally likely to be the partner with higher desire,” Dr. Hunter-Murray, Ph.D., a psychologist who specialises in family and marital therapy. wrote in her book Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships.
Also, a 2011 study of 133 heterosexual couples found that “men and women were equally likely to be the member of the couple with lower sexual desire relative to their partner.”
8. Condoms make sex less enjoyable
This is exactly the reason why many sexually active persons prefer it raw and often end up in trouble. Condoms come in different colours, shapes and sizes. There are those that come in thick and big latexes, while you can find ultra-thin and ribbed condoms that can make sex pleasurable. Discuss with your partner which ones you prefer and save yourself from future regrets.
9. Withdrawal method prevents pregnancy
Even legends cannot guarantee that. For those that do not understand. withdrawal method or pull-out method is a natural contraceptive technique which involves a man pulling his penis out of a vagina before he ejaculates. This method has proven time and time again that it is a human error. It has 4 percent of failure, whereas condoms have 2 percent.
In other words, it means about four out of 100 women who rely on the pullout method exclusively will become pregnant in one year, meaning the failure rate is between 20 and 30 per cent. If you must use this method, you have to be perfectly correct in pulling out before you ejaculate, otherwise congratulations on the new baby.
10. It’s a woman’s responsibility to worry about contraception
Having sex is a joint decision. Therefore, it is the responsibility of both partners to protect themselves. If you as a man leave it up to your female partner to worry about contraception, you may end in regrets especially if you are not ready for the consequences.
11. Only men should wear condoms
Yeah, right. There are many female condoms in the market. Madam go and get one and stop stressing oga.
12. Pills prevent STI
False. Pills only prevent pregnancy and even that is not 100 per cent guaranteed. Go and get tested if you have been using pills as an STI prevention method.
13. STIs can be contracted only through penetrative sex
Some STIs like genital warts and herpes, can be passed just by having genital areas rub against each other. Also, HIV can be contracted and spread through oral sex.
14. You can’t get pregnant during your period
You can get pregnant if you have unprotected sex during your period. Although this is rare, it is possible and largely depends on the length of your menstrual cycle. Here is how it works: A typical menstrual cycle for a woman lasts about 28 days, with 5 of those taken up by her period. During ovulation, she experiences a 12-16 day window when a mature egg is released from the ovary. When she starts bleeding, the unfertilized eggs, or “ovules,” and uterine lining are eliminated.
Some women have short menstrual cycles, which means they ovulate early. Then there is the fact that a sperm can last in a woman’s body for up to five days. So if the timing is right, the sperm can live in the woman’s body long enough to fertilise her eggs.
15. Oral and anal are not really sex
Penetration does not have to happen for you to call it sex. But some people believe that limiting their sexual encounter to oral and anal makes it safe. It is not. First, you stand the risk of getting infected with STIs like chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and HPV. Secondly, a woman can get pregnant if her male partner’s sperm is anywhere near her vagina if she is ovulating.
In other words, trash the idea that a penis must penetrate a vagina for sex and pregnancy to happen.
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