November is a month dedicated to men’s health and wellness. Men often complain that nobody cares genuinely about them but merely because of what they can provide. While this is understandable, Nigerian men must look at themselves hard and probe if they even care about themselves.
When you hear a Nigerian man say: “I just want to enjoy my life,” brace yourself. Nine out of 10 times, what follows is a detailed description of habits that will either land him in an early grave, the hospital, or on the receiving end of his ancestors’ disapproval. It’s almost as if “enjoyment” has been rebranded as a dangerous sport, with medals awarded for the riskiest behaviour. From drinking to reckless driving, men have found a way to baptise their unhealthy vices as “fun.”
Let’s start with drinking. For many Nigerian men, nothing screams “I’ve arrived” louder than a bottle of beer or a glass of something stronger. It doesn’t matter if the same alcohol is responsible for the protruding belly they think is a starter pack of being an “Odogwu” or the headache they battle every morning. “Man must enjoy,” they will say, as they down another bottle.
In their eyes, alcohol isn’t just a drink; it’s a badge of honour. You’ll hear things like, “If you don’t drink, you’re not a man.” Really? When did manhood get tied to liver damage? There’s always that one guy at every event who insists on buying a round for everyone, even if it means emptying his wallet. His logic? “Life is too short to not have fun.” Ironically, that same fun is what will make his life even shorter.
Now, let’s talk about sex—a topic often tiptoed around but glaringly present. Nigerian men have this unspoken belief that sexual escapades are proof of their vitality. It’s almost like a competition: who has the most stories to tell? Unfortunately, they forget that their so-called enjoyment comes with its baggage—unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, and even the emotional toll on themselves and their partners. Yet, instead of addressing these issues, they laugh it off and call it “man’s nature.”
But nature didn’t plan for a man to live recklessly. Instead of responsibility, they embrace a carefree lifestyle that sometimes leaves women and even themselves in emotional shambles. Like a carpenter who carelessly hammers nails without measuring the wood, the result is usually a mess that requires twice the effort to fix.
If alcohol and sex are the “soft” vices, rough driving is the hardcore version. Put a Nigerian man behind the wheel, and suddenly, he believes he’s auditioning for “Fast and Furious: Lagos Drift.” Speed limits? What are those? Seat belts? Who needs them? To him, life is one big race, and his car is the chariot of his enjoyment.
You’ll hear him boast, “I drove from Lagos to Benin in three hours!” But he won’t mention the countless traffic rules he broke or the number of pedestrians he almost knocked over. Driving recklessly is no joke, yet it’s packaged as a thrilling adventure. Throw blasting Amapiano in the mix and you have a real recipe for disaster. The truth is, one wrong turn can flip that excitement into disaster. Cars are meant for transport, not for gambling with one’s life.
Have you ever met a Nigerian man who prides himself on being a “hustler”? It doesn’t matter if the hustle is breaking his back and leaving him one hospital visit away from a permanent injury. He’ll say, “I’m grinding for my family,” while ignoring the fact that his health is a ticking time bomb.
Our society doesn’t help either. A hardworking man is celebrated, while a man who takes breaks is labelled lazy. So, they push themselves beyond limits, lifting weights their bodies aren’t built for or working round the clock without rest. It’s like using a generator for 24 hours straight—eventually, something will break.
Even the so-called leisure activities can take a dangerous turn. Gambling, smoking, and even food— yes, food—become arenas for self-destruction. A man eats three plates of pounded yam with egusi soup, washes it down with two bottles of ‘mineral’, and then announces, “I just finished enjoying myself.” Enjoyment, indeed, until his doctor diagnoses him with high blood pressure or diabetes.
Why do Nigerian men cling to these harmful habits as signs of enjoyment? Part of it boils down to societal expectations. From a young age, boys are told to “be strong” and “man up.” Showing vulnerability or admitting fear is seen as weakness. So, they adopt behaviours that make them feel invincible, even if those behaviours are harmful.
Another reason is the culture of peer pressure. If your friends drink, you drink. If they drive recklessly, you can’t be the one to “fall their hand.” It’s a vicious cycle, where men validate their choices by the company they keep.
But can we blame them entirely? The average Nigerian man faces a mountain of stress every day. From job insecurity to family responsibilities, life often feels like a constant struggle. In the absence of proper coping mechanisms, they turn to these vices as an escape. The problem is, that the escape often leads to more problems.
The solution? It starts with a mindset shift. Enjoyment doesn’t have to be destructive. True enjoyment is waking up without a hangover, driving without fear of an accident, and growing old with your loved ones. It’s about balance—having fun without risking your life or health.
Men need to redefine what it means to enjoy life. Take up hobbies that bring joy and relaxation—like playing football with friends, hiking, or learning something new. Instead of drinking excessively, have meaningful conversations over a cup of tea or a glass of juice. Instead of speeding on the road, try the “slow and steady wins the race” approach.
As a society, we must also stop glorifying unhealthy habits. Celebrate men who prioritise their well-being and make responsible choices. Let’s normalise discussions about mental health, self-care, and living intentionally.
Dear Nigerian men, life is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. What’s the point of burning all your energy on the first lap if you won’t be around to see the finish line? Choose the kind of enjoyment that ensures you’re still around to laugh last.
So the next time you hear someone boast about how much they drank, how fast they drove, or how much they’ve hustled, gently remind them: Enjoyment is sweeter when it doesn’t come with regret. After all, what’s the fun in fun that leaves you broken?
Enjoy wisely. That’s the real enjoyment.
